1、正义都能迟到，为什么我上学就不能迟到。

Justice can be late. Why can't I be late for school.

2、有人告诉我，这世界上没有比爱情更复杂的东西了，我一本数学书摔在他脸上。

Someone told me that there is nothing more complicated than love in the world. I threw a math book on his face.

3、太阳请你晒黑我爸妈的头发，不要晒黑我。

The sun asks you to tan my parents' hair, not me.

4、为什么我吵架的时候要跺两下地，因为我要告诉你，你就是个弟弟。

Why do I have to stomp twice when I fight, because I want to tell you that you are a brother.

5、想做一只甜糯的猫，一言不合就扑倒在你怀里撒娇。

I want to be a sweet and glutinous cat, which pours in your arms to play coquettish.

6、有一个女孩最近胖了，但是她很可爱很善良，那她今天可以吃火锅吗？

There is a girl recently fat, but she is very lovely very kind, then she can eat hot pot today?

7、爱美之心，人皆有之，你不爱我，你不是人。

Love beautiful heart, everyone has it, you do not love me, you are not human.

8、每天喝八杯水很难，但是喝八杯奶茶，只需要你一句：我请你。

It's hard to drink eight glasses of water every day, but to drink eight cups of milk tea, I just need you to say: I invite you.

9、帮我给桃花打个电话，问他啥时候来？

Call peach blossom for me and ask when he will come?

10、没能遇见你，小裙子都觉得怀才不遇。

I didn't meet you. My little skirt feels talented, but it's not important.

11、自从生活把我击倒，我才发现躺着真舒服啊！

Since life knocked me down, I found it very comfortable to lie down!

12、与其这样嘘寒问暖，不如打笔巨款。

It's better to pay me a lot of money than to care about me like this.

13、一年四季都在困，只有躺床上最清醒。

Sleepy all year round, only lying in bed the most awake.

14、我刚写了五分钟作业，手机吃醋了，于是我哄了它两个小时。

I just wrote my homework for five minutes and my cell phone got jealous, so I coaxed it for two hours.